The Reality Principle is basically that one begins to learn the need sometimes to endure pain and to defer gratification because of the exigencies and obstacles of reality. We hear it all the time from blacks, that this is just how things are, we don’t deserve any help and somehow if you endure this broken life, you will be rewarded in heaven. Even though your tormentors are receiving their rewards NOW!
This post is based on a comment to my post about black people displaying the Stockholm syndrome.
A refresher of the syndrome. Stockholm syndrome describes a situation in which a hostage begins to grow sympathetic towards their captor and they even loyal to their abductor. Occurring under physical duress, tremendous emotional behavior or other traumatic situations (such as kidnapping, hostage situations), the effects of Stockholm syndrome never goes away even when the crisis ends. The syndrome is particularly obvious in battered-spouse cases, slave and master relationship, cult victims, prisoners of war, abused children, hostage victims; and individuals who are experiencing a severe emotional, isolation and physical abuse.
So isn’t it futile to argue with one who has been raised by generations of people with Stockholm syndrome? Wouldn’t the person you are arguing with just continue to fight to prove that the victim IS the problem?
The Black Sentinel
It’s tough to get a grip on the “reality” you present. As you admit, you have no central thesis. You’re merely espousing a sentiment which the reader is tasked with applying to life.
I am adequately familiar with Stockholm syndrome to discuss it intelligently. I can infer no purpose in your claim other than an excuse for behavior. I am more than willing to entertain another purpose, if you provide one. But my inference seems justified by your assertion black people need “help” to get over the generational trauma of being black. What form is this help to take? Who is to provide it? What is its lack preventing black people from doing?
So when a person comes back from the war and says that they have PTSD, is that an excuse of behavior? When a person has a traumatic brain injury and they have a change in personality or anger management and the doctors say it is because of the brain injury, is that an excuse for behavior? When you have children being abused and they do some sort of crime, everyone can see that they have issues due to abuse are those issues an excuse for behavior?
See my problem with what you are saying is that ONLY when we want to look at the root cause of the problems in the black community it is an excuse of behavior. No one claims that a woman who shoots her abusive husband is using said abuse as an excuse of behavior. At least no one who has a brain is going to say that the abuse had no part in her behavior. It is not an excuse, it is an explanation. Is it so bad to admit that black people have never had our abused psyches healed?
Not one person has so far said that poor Jaycee Dugard and her children who were held captive in Phillip Garrido’s, a sick torturous pedophile, backyard, “hey, you aren’t being held captive, get on with your life, get a job and raise those kids, and you better do it right even though you were in a situation of torture, torment and lack education.” Nope, we have all agreed that this girl AND her children are in need of special mental help. We as a society agreed with this so much so that she has not been expected to “just move on” with her life. She is receiving the help she needs to move on with her life in a productive manner.
But somehow, it is OK for a whole population of people to be held in the backyard of a sick torturous population of people and be told, “Hey, you aren’t being held anymore, get on with you lives.” Not only that, we were then held back by lack of education, lack of jobs, lack of self worth, but none of that matters. This is our collective inheritance. And so if you feel that it is an excuse for behavior, why don’t you explain to me and all who read this exactly what has occurred that somehow healed the minds, bodies and souls of the people who were charged with teaching us life skills?
And you are asking me to provide you with a purpose, really? And somehow you THINK I am saying that the generational trauma is from being black, really? You may see being black as the problem or trauma, I see the TREATMENT that blacks have and do suffer in this country as the problem. I see that the TREATMENT that blacks have suffered in this country was never countered by anything. And if there was some sort of collective mental healing, when and where did that take place? Or are you saying that when a person or people suffer a great trauma such as the one placed upon the black community in America, they need NO help? That once the main form of abuse has stopped, they have no lingering affects, no residual problems that are related to such treatment?
And you want me to tell YOU what type of help this is to take and who is going to provide it. Why don’t YOU tell ME and better yet why don’t you tell yourself? Does it really even matter who does it, what type and how? Why do you think that just because I feel that help was needed and IS needed that now I am the one that is charged with explaining the fix for all the problems or coming up with all the necessary steps to put a plan in place?
Are you one of those people who look at the person telling you that a building is on fire, and asks them to explain to you all the necessary steps to putting the fire out and to explain what exactly is it that the lack of fixing the burning building is or will be preventing the inhabitants from doing? When it all seems so obvious at least to some of us, it does.
And if you can’t see what the lack of mental health prevents people from doing, there is a problem. I shouldn’t have to write my thoughts and then fill in every detail for the detail challenged. Because to me if a person can not see what a lack of mental health help to people who have suffered not only mental but physical abuse shows me that you either have no imagination or no compassion or possibly both. I am not trying to offend; this is just what I see. I can’t stand by and see people who have been handing down an abused persons system of survival and nothing much more than that and not see a people who need help.
In fact a people who actually needed help when the slavery abuse first stopped. Shouldn’t those freed slaves have been given the mental health support and other support they needed to be able to begin living a life they know nothing about? Instead of being given more fear, more systems of abuse, other systems of exclusion and denial? It would seem to me that those freed slaves were in a worse position than Jaycee Dugard, yet I don’t see anyone asking why she or her children need support.
And so, if you feel that my “reality” of blacks as a group of abuse survivors’ descendants is so profoundly different, then where is your central thesis to the contrary? Where is your comparison and contrast? You haven’t shown anyone here anything to counter one point made, yet continue this snide commentary that seems to say nothing more than your wrong so prove to me your right. I don’t need to prove anything to you. And in fact if you believe I am wrong then I guess you should be proving that, right?
Either you take the route that blacks were abused and received no assistance to counter that and thus handed down this abused mentality generation after generation or you take the route that they were healed at some point in time which you can name and therefore handed down a sound system of parental and personal management and somehow generation after generation just continues to fail for no reason other than . . . you fill in the blank.