My son confessed that he is a Tom (as in Uncle Tom). In our home we discuss a lot of pertinent issues affecting blacks today, focusing on the afro centric view, so you would think this would be a huge surprise, but alas it was not. We all pretty much knew this was the case and constantly tried to engage him in conversation about his feelings. But, of course nothing could be done until he would admit it and be willing and able to do some serious self analysis.
What finally brought him to terms with the truth was doing an online self test from IAT which measures a person’s preference for blacks vs. whites. After the test came back that he had a moderate preference for whites his first reaction was to deny and demand not one but three re-tests. He claimed that this would erase any doubt that the test was in some way flawed; it was comical to say the least. The next reaction was to come clean which prompted him to start that self analysis and figure out why he feels the way he does.
We tried to get him to write papers before about the things that happened to him such as the different treatment from teachers, being called the dreaded N-word, rug head and chocolate bar amongst others. The only thing that happened was the defense for those who had hurt him. It was as if he felt that they were entitled, by just being white made them better. But as he scrutinized these feelings he is finally writing and trying to put them into perspective which brought about the realization that somehow feeling more connected to the white community over his own was the cause of this constant defense.
He produced a paper chronicling his induction into tomdon where he divulged that at his schools where he was one of only a handful of blacks he made friends with white kids as a way of fitting in by aligning himself with the majority. This was seriously bad for his self esteem and worse yet for how he felt about other blacks. He has been making some very good progress in a short amount of time, now writing another paper on the early programming of our black youth, which takes a look at toys, cartoons, movies and schools. He has also decided to start a Blog to target teens that might be, like him, looking for a place to voice their views or maybe just to find more information on how others are dealing with black teen issues in a white dominated society.