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Restaurant Review Bill O’Reilly Style

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I watched the interesting restaurant review that Bill O’Reilly gave after visiting a well known African American establishment called Sylvia’s in Harlem New York. Now he made some comments about it and everyone is in a bit of an uproar. There are allegations flying all over the place. But all that happened was it made me want to give my own review of a local restaurant as well since it is the entire buzz right now.

I went to a well known restaurant here in town run by a local Caucasian man. I was really surprised that the guy who seated us was tremendously respectful and never once did he refer to us as “dude” or the “N-word” and he didn’t have any lice popping out of his head. I was impressed right there to say the least. Then as we sat and looked around the place there wasn’t even a noose in sight or a Confederate flag. I was astonished that no toothless banjo players were present, in fact the music was a nice soft jazz. This almost floored me as you know Whites pretty much just began to start getting rhythm. They’re starting to get away from the Pat Boone’s and Como’s (Perry) and the people trying to lead them into rhythm-less culture.  They’re just trying to figure it out, Look, I can make music.  If I work hard and get a drum beat, I can make it.

My date quietly mentioned the fact that he hadn’t seen any NASCAR posters or one giant belt buckle, but I told him the night was still young. At any moment one of the Caucasian patrons was bound to jump up with his ten gallon hat and start shooting his pistols into the air while yelling “yeehaw”. At this point I was beginning to think that these people were actually just like me and other Blacks, although I did have to spend ten dollars for a burnt cup of coffee.

Our dinner came out without a hitch and the fellow bringing it didn’t have a mullet or a skullet. In fact he didn’t even talk through his nose as if he had once been Batman’s butler. But really Blacks who don’t have a lot of interaction with White culture think it is dominated by Michael Richards, Don Imus and Ann Coulter. Well this was a really fine evening for us as we didn’t see the Klan or any skinheads in the place. So all in all it was a very delightful dinner so hopefully other Blacks will realize that it was the same even though it’s run by Caucasians with predominantly Caucasian patrons.

To thank Bill O’Reilly for opening my eyes on all that can be expressed while giving an account of dinner at a restaurant run by those that are less than himself. I am glad to have been exposed to his rant as it gave me a chance to rant for myself. I hope that you enjoyed my review, sorry I couldn’t post the name of the restaurant as I didn’t clear it with the owner first. Please don’t call it racist it is just my ignorance of White people that I said these things. I was trying to pay the restaurant and the White community a compliment. Hopefully nobody gets mad enough that I end up with a burning cross in my front yard. So there you have it, I hope you enjoyed.

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