I am all over the place, being a black woman first and foremost, a mother of two boys and a damn good woman for my man. I have had to wade through a lot of poisonous waters to get to the point I’m at now. Finding a voice that I am just starting to use and be comfortable with and this is the forum I chose to exercise that voice. So bear with me as I explore all the different experiences, pains, and triumphs that make me who I am today.
I would like to write about whatever catches my fancy at the time, trying to concentrate on motherhood, blackness and spirituality (since I am learning about Orisa and my culture.) Hopefully as you read my raving and ranting you will find something here that you might be able to relate to as well.
42 Comments
August 12, 2007 at 5:12 am
Be strong, confident and live life to it’s fullest and your children will follow. I’m also a mother and now a grandmother. Life is full of adversity, especially for women, but it does build character and strength. Good luck to you and yours ~ UP Injustice
September 12, 2007 at 2:02 pm
My sistah! You got my vote! Continue to have your vocie as it is much needed!
September 21, 2007 at 6:02 pm
Thanks to both of you. And thanks for the confidence.
January 11, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Hello,
I walked up on you by accident, and you know what ? I’m galad I did. Keep up the good work , and keep your head up. what ever i can do to help im here.
Im from Va. A firefighter for seven years , a football coach for 12years,and a comunity leader.
I have four boys and girl. 18/ 16/13/9/and 2
we are also a family band ,like father like son”
January 11, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Thanks for the support Marlow. I am glad to hear it. Also, you have a pretty expansive set of boys. I hope the band is going very well. And keep up the great work within the community.
February 14, 2008 at 7:05 am
In the spirit of black history month, here are some white people who just don’t get it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bALpBCwvHWM
Will
April 9, 2008 at 9:26 pm
Love your blog, I have placed you in my blogroll, please check out my site, and add me to your blogroll if you like the content..peace!
http://pcashperspective.wordpress.com
May 13, 2008 at 8:43 pm
great blog, inspirational
June 16, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Great blog, definitely provides me with an interesting read and insight! I had a question for you, but would prefer to keep it quiet…please contact me at my email when you get a chance. Thanks again for your writings.
August 11, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Congrats on your blog. This initiative is so important to make space for the most needed debate of all, that on racism. I must say Guywhite gets on my nerve: he talks about ‘typical black arguments’ but he uses all the ‘typical white’ arguments which reveal his lack of understanding of the issues. Having to fight such ignorant comments, we never move on, Guywhite needs to develop some willingness to learn, if he is interested in equality and harmony at all.
September 17, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Here’s an article on police brutality and race, I have 4 articles so far from local rag, the Des Moines Register…figured, if you were running on empty right now it’ll give you something to look over and check out.
1. http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008809140335
2. http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008809160376
3. http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008809170352
4. http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2008809170354
November 13, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Hi,
My name is Tia and I’m an editor at OpposingViews.com, the debate website. Since we both cover race issues, I thought I’d drop you a note. I would’ve e-mailed you but I couldn’t find an address.
See, we’re currently having a discussion about whether or not we still need affirmative action. You can see it here:
http://www.opposingviews.com/questions/do-we-still-need-affirmative-action
Although vetted experts are the ones doing the debating, anyone can contribute by choosing a side and posting comments about the experts’ arguments.
Check it out and, if you have the time, let me know what you think at tia@opposingviews.com
Thanks!
January 22, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Hi!
Okay I guess I should say that I am not black, I came across your site by accident but I haven’t been able to stop reading! It’s AWESOME to see a woman of any race stating her point of view so succinctly, while backing it up with facts. I have been reading for about 30 minutes now and I have truly learned from you. Thank you!
January 22, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Rachel,
Thank you so much for the compliment. And trust me you don’t have to be black to participate in this dialog. And I am always glad to hear that I have inspired, taught or somehow helped someone with my posts.
Thanks for the reply.
February 7, 2009 at 9:44 pm
randomly found your site as well. absolutely love it…I’m a black woman in law school, and I was on the web quite annoyed after reading the Dred Scott case, and found your site while surfing for Slavery artwork…I will be stopping by frequently and look forward to talking with you more. gonna get back to studying, but thanks for the blog
February 8, 2009 at 12:57 am
CLL,
Welcome and thank you so much for the compliment.
thanks
February 24, 2009 at 12:13 am
Very interesting reads. Regardless of our differences, I respect your ambition and goals. I’m glad to have found your blog
February 24, 2009 at 12:56 am
Sean,
Thank you and I hope that you continue to read and get a sense of my and others perspectives. And we will surely continue to dialog with you and to get your points and perspectives.
Thanks for the reply.
March 5, 2009 at 7:55 pm
It is really unfortunate that this type of blog continues to perpetuate racism in our country. You are not doing anything to try to unite the “races”, but you are continuing to divide this country into different classes and types of people. There is no such thing as race. We ALL came from the same two people and the only difference between us all is the cultures and locations we ended up in. But our blood, and our bodies all came from one place. It is my prayer that rather than continue to let people dwell on how sorry they feel for themselves or each other, that these same people would instead rise above this nonsense and fight their way to where they can be. It is much like being a teacher: if you only raise the bar so high, that is the only level your students will achieve, but if you raise the bar higher than you expect the students to reach, they will achieve so much more.
March 5, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Mommyof1,
I had a nice long reply to you but if you care go and see it in the post.
Thanks but no thanks.
March 6, 2009 at 12:14 pm
BLack sentinel. I read almost all of your articles. I find alot of it interesting because i am a mixed man (black and white) I have to disagree witht the article about “not seeing color(whts wrong with being white)” and i’ll tell you why. Im light..almost white, and strangely my brother is as black as coal, i would like to state there is no great difference between us. Now for nmy main point. It is stupid to ramble on about there not being enough “black” products on the market because only 12% of the people in america are “black”. Therefore if you are a business, you are goin to make more money by selling toys, beauty products, and bandaids that look “white”. this has nothing to do with racism. ALso to say that this causes black kids to think there is something wrong with them is also not a good arguement. Many white kids are bombarded with images in the media that portray them as “dumb” “no rhythm” “flighty” “unrealistic” “boring”..and alot of them believe this. so in those regards blacks are no more victims than whites. Also to talk about tv shows with “your culture” . lets analyze that. the steryotypical “black culture ” is composed of the following :down to earth, loud, expressive, full of life,truly human, got beat and rhythm,vocal, altogether just natural humans at their best. WEll these qualities are actually artributes of any lower class people, not just blacks. Ive seen rich blacks that act like stiffs and are so up in the clouds, and lower class whites with allof the listed charactaristics. these qualities can sometimes be seen in wealthy people. the reason why its commonly seen in blacks is because the majority of blacks are lower class, that is because of the true racism in the past that has made things that way. But i assure you there are just as many poor whites..its just, there are more whites period and the middle class and rich are composed mostly of whites. THis country has legally banned racism, however this country is also founded on the sink or swim rule, so those who make it do, nerdy white kids have parents that can promote that so they move on to succeed, while black kids whose parents truly were affected arent as educated, and those who have black parents who dont show sings of affected lives, they give into peer pressure for the “black image”. Ill never forget in highschool when this black kid who lived in an all white hood and was rich was talking about cocain and drive by’s..haha. SO weve establiched that its a sink or swim, doggy dog world. Well humans will ban together with those who they feel are connected to them or can related to them, if we have people running around trying to point out all the”differences” (which are inconsistant) do you really think that the “different” people are goin to want you in their pack? Its humans no.1 instinct to survive in groups…if you make yourselfe out to be totally different, than whatever”pack” is succeedding will not accept you in because YOU wont let them. So it does make the problem worde when you try to separate yourself cuz youll get just what you want (be separated). If we let go of these illusions of some set difference in mentality between blacks and whites , than people will see eveybody as just that,people. untill that day racism will never end. if you want to help, write about what makes us connected, what makes people people, what we have in common, how color doesnt make a significant differance other than making the world visually beautiful. what i say makes sence. Of course people”see” the visual difference, but i think you know damn well what people mean when the say they “dont see color”. THey mean it doesnt matter to them. to say”oh so you cant tell this is red and this is blue” is just being a smart a–. I’d like to close by saying that I mean no ill..just keeping the convo fresh, thats what blogs are for right?
March 10, 2009 at 6:34 pm
I was searching for black skin health items, and i went on your site. I do not know much about problems for black and white people in america. I was a little insulted when I saw that you typed about learning about your culture. I want to tell you that no black person whose family has been here for generations can claim true african culture. Many cultures are in africa. One cannot claim a culture that he was not raised in. Most people here for instance were raised in america, as their mother and father, and grandmother and grandfather. You are all americans and posses american culture. You have no more claim to african culture than a white man or woman from america. you eat the same food have the same tradition holidays. a good thing I lerned in america is that at least the white men and women do not pretend to be european. you cannot grow up in one culture and when a woman decide to change culture. that is as bad as a white man saying that he is african. you america have something beautiful a new culture made from many embrace the new. may you have peace in life—-Jaques anubuessi
March 10, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Jean,
I think you are extremely confused. I don’t know what post you are reading that claims that I don’t have “Black” American culture. And for your information my father’s side of the family originated in Africa and my grandfather shared his African culture with me. So if that is what you are referring to then I have every right to tout my “African” heritage and culture as anyone else. I am NOT changing my culture as I grew up with both cultures and have every right to claim both. So now you don’t have to be so confused and try and lecture me on culture as if I was born yesterday.
Thanks for the reply.
March 12, 2009 at 10:06 pm
it was not only for you. I cannot write english words like you not as well. I was try to say that many black people in ameriica try to speak on african culture and it is not theirs. I was speaking that as an african coming to America i see no differentce between any of you and you try to make it seem like black memn and white men possess very difference in culture in America and they seem to not. Now do you know what I am try to speak
March 12, 2009 at 10:11 pm
one thing that i must ask is why the rude? I was speaking of my thoughts like a friend to you, I was not rude. This is why the world thinks america is rude . I do not have my friend to help me type english well like. I had him for the other message. please try to see.
March 12, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Jean,
I don’t think I was being rude. I felt it was rude what you were saying. But if I came off as rude then you have my apologies. I did not think that I spoke to your typing at all. I think you have again misunderstood me.
Thanks
March 12, 2009 at 10:18 pm
I understand what you are saying. Yet, there is a BIG difference in every race in America’s culture. As blacks most of us have a mixed culture that stems from our mixed heritage being the descendants of slaves, Europeans and sometimes Native Americans. What I was trying to say is that just because we don’t live in Africa doesn’t mean that we don’t have ANY African culture. I am sure that it isn’t the exact same as an African but then again neither are neighboring countries in Africa sharing the same culture. Thus I was making the point that you come to America and live you will soon have a pseudo African/American culture with your children and descendants. That is the simple basis of my thoughts.
Thanks. And again, I am not commenting on how you speak or who typed it as that doesn’t matter to me. I am just speaking to your thoughts on this matter.
March 12, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Ah, my friend is here to help me type so that you can understand me. I am just curious as a new person in your country on what the differences are between white men and black men in America. I’m sorry if this makes you mad, but youse, im donnot know much about here. Somebody told me taht the white people dress different and act different. But I do not see this different dressing or acting. Im in the state florida now. Many people have told me that black people are loud? Where im at right now they are both loud. SO i decided that i must ask somebody with more knowledge what is different. Im sorry for not understanding you but Justin is my friend who helps me type better and explained what you meant. It may be a shock to you because of your bad history with what you call a redneck, but to me, when I visited a redneck place in alabama, I stayed for a week. They fill many of the things that people say are black. So as you can see i am completely confused. Will you help me with that?
March 12, 2009 at 11:57 pm
you see I also read this thing on the internet. The man was saying that in his place of america It is highly mixed like you are saying about black people. He said what makes his place so great is the very mixed culture of the place. I also leaned that cuban and mexican people also have very much African culture. I think it is bad that your races are so separate if that is true. Because if you all lived together in the same place you would all have a mixed culture. Don’t you think. tyhen you would love eachother because you would have the same way of life.
March 13, 2009 at 12:06 am
this one man is the one talking about his place also has a place ont he web that he gave me to see. I dont not fully understand it but it makes a little sense. will you check it out for me to see what he meant. My friend just left and he will not read it. I am smiling because he said i need to learn on my own now or i will not grow. I am sorry to ask. I know it is something about who is stronger. that is all.
March 13, 2009 at 2:04 am
Jean,
Your friend is right and cares for you. Because you have to learn to grow and you will get better. It just takes time.
Thanks
March 13, 2009 at 2:19 am
By the way before I go I would like you to know where I was born. I am from Mauritania. Just wondering where your grand father is from?
March 13, 2009 at 2:30 am
Jean,
Thanks for letting know. My grandfather was Angolan.
Thanks for the reply.
March 13, 2009 at 2:37 am
Oh. South of my home. Very nice. You know, Africa is such a pretty place when people leave the land alone. OK. I have talked too much. I liked talking to you. bye
March 13, 2009 at 2:53 am
Indeed, Africa is extremely beautiful. I totally agree with you that when left alone it shines. I liked talking to you as well. Come back anytime.
Thanks.
March 13, 2009 at 6:22 pm
I have been to africa. I loved it. The people are sooo diferent than in the states. I love to see a place where the peoples skin are sooo dark in some places. I saw people who were not brown, but actually literaly black as a panther. Beautiful skin, exotic! It was sad to see the poverty though
April 9, 2009 at 11:36 am
Original Author of “Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man” Says Steve Harvey is using her original title and theme to send a distorted message of empowerment to women.
Chicago, Ill. April 5, 2009 — Author Sharon P. Carson of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, says the Steve Harvey’s book of the same name is a misrepresented take on her original work. Carson, who is pursuing her rights under unfair competition laws, secured a copyright for the title in 2004, and then established http://www.actlikealadythinklikeaman.com.
Harvey’s book, published in January of this year, copies the title and theme of her work, says Carson, and takes some of her authentic thoughts and conclusions and contorts them into a detrimental message for women. Carson says his approach is a distorted view of her original vision.
Carson says her self-published book was written, “To encourage women to accept and appreciate who they are both inside and out and to respect themselves and demand respect from their male counter part.” She also felt women need to be as tough minded as men are in relationships, which is how she created the title, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.
Harvey has stated the title for his book came through an editor, but originally contained the word “girl” instead of “lady,” a substitution for which he takes credit.
An excerpt from Carson’s book discusses the unnecessary concept of women changing themselves physically for their partner: “Why should women become someone they hate in order to please someone they think they love? What if the relationship ends, will they have to change again to please the next man?”
An excerpt from Harvey’s book, on p. 207, mirrors Carson’s point: “But if you’re telling your man you want a nose job and he sees nothing wrong with the nose you already have then maybe you ought to think about leaving your nose alone. Why run the risk of something going wrong when your man is already happy with the way you look? Why lose the extra weight if your man is happy with you the way you are?”
In addition to reworking her original ideas, Carson objects to the anti-empowerment message of Harvey’s take on a successful woman, per p. 182: “If you’ve got your own money, your own car, your own house, a Brinks alarm system, a pistol and a guard dog and your practically shouting from the roof that you don’t need a man to provide for you or protect you, then we will see no need to keep coming around.”
Carson asks, “How does this message empower us as women? Should we prepare for success so that we can provide and protect ourselves or should we forgo that and wait for a man come along and do it for us?”
While Carson is looking into protecting her own rights as an author, she also is concerned about getting her message out there—that women are their own authority, they are complete with, or without, a man.
Fans of Carson’s book frequently react with praise and the desire to pass on the book’s message. One reader writes, “You were right ON point w/this book! I learned these things the hard way, but I am gonna give a copy to my daughters to read! And your insights really helped me build more effectively with my son! Thank you!”
For more information about Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, contact Sharon Carson or visit http://www.actlikealadythinklikeaman.com.
About Sharon P. Carson
Sharon P. Carson is a gifted author and poet, and has published four books in her lifetime, including the poetic volume Not By Bread Alone and Go Tell The Children. Carson, a State Certified Real Estate Appraiser, is the mother of two children, and lives in Chicago, Ill. With her husband of 41 years.
Contact:
Sharon P. Carson
773-568-2274
sharonpcarson@gmail.com
http://www.actlikealadythinklikeaman.com
April 12, 2009 at 3:55 am
First off, I want to say Black Sentinel, I love your blog. As a young black woman and mother of 1, I am very much aware of race. I was born in Memphis and now live in Nashville, I have lived in Japan and traveled to other countries. Racism is VERY much alive – EVERYWHERE. There is not getting around that. Unfortunately, being that we are humans, it will continue to exist, in my opinion. Even if we love everyone, someone will do something that will cause us to hate or detest them and then we create a stereotype in our head and associate everyone of that type to that action. Its involuntary. Although most racism that everyone experiences is mild, some of it gets extreme and starts to tear at the very fragments of our society. Like the KKK. Other things, and I’ll give one quick example, subtly brain wash us. Glamour magazine had a recent article on the American woman. http://www.glamour.com/magazine/2009/03/american-icons#slide=12
They had different superstars playing famous American Woman throughout the century in a series of photos. They had Alicia Keys portraying Michelle Obama. Needless to say, I was appalled. I am so proud that a woman brown skinned like myself was in such a position, that I was nearly stabbed in the heart by the portrayal my first lady as a mixed, woman. I sent them a heated response to the article : “I must say that the premise for the article is great. However, I have a MAJOR problem with the portrayal of Michelle Obama. Alicia Keys is a beautiful, High Yellow, Mixed woman. Michelle Obama is a beautiful, chocolate, brown skinned woman. NOT Interchangeable! There are plenty of famous brown skinned women out there who you could have used to portray Michelle Obama. (like Angela Basset, IMAN, Nia Long, etc.) There is only one dark-skinned woman in this article and she is not portrayed as such. Do we not exist? Do we not innovate, take chances, make mistakes? Oprah isn’t light bright and D@mn near white. Josephine Baker wasn’t, Harriet Tubman, Mary McLeod Bethune, and Sharon Luckman aren’t either. I see this as the media again, making Light skin IN. Chocolate is smooth and delicious. Why should it not be shown? Billie Holiday was light and portrayed as such; Althea Gibson was caramel and you had the appropriate person (Chanel Iman) portraying her. Give Our First Lady the same respect. More Chocolate please!” I am sorry to speak so long but I have one more thing to say. Sharon Carson, I have read both your book and Steve Harvey’s book. I am sorry but, you have no claim to his. His book May have similar topics to yours but half of these things are (un) common sense that many people know. there are a million Low Carb diet books out there, all with the same basic topics and themes and some with the same titles. Same scenario here. I also Think that Steve is a MAN which gives him a totally different point of view to thinking like a man and that he really does tell it like it is especially when it comes to black men. Last thing, Ms. Carson, if women are complete with or without a man, then WHY are you telling them how to think like a man to get one and be in a successful relationship? You should write a book on self empowerment. Thanks again Black Sentinel and if you ever want some powerful black gear, hit me up.
April 12, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Elisheba,
Thank you for your information about the Steve Harvey, Carson bunk. I was wondering exactly what that was going to be all about since I don’t know any of Carson’s work. But, I threw it out there and am happy that someone weighed in on this topic.
Now with the racism, I DO agree that racism is going to continue to be a part of our society. There is NO getting around that. BUT, just because it is going to be a part of our society doesn’t mean that we need to somehow look beyond or past it as if to say “oh well.” Not that this was your meaning, I just don’t want anyone else to take that away from the comment. Because murder is a part of our lives and probably always will be, I know that we won’t just look past that. So we have to be ever vigilant against all wrongs that happen in society.
Also, the small things ARE exactly what tears at the fabric of our society, not the big things. The small things are what emboldens those to commit the big things. You see these small things are blacks not getting jobs, health care, housing and education. These things are what has the greatest impact on our community as a whole. Sure it is terrible when a black man like James Byrd is drug to death behind the truck of a bunch of white jokers. But, ultimately that is one person vs. millions of blacks failing due to substandard education which leads to chronic unemployment, leading to substandard health and substandard housing thus substandard communities. Those small cracks are what is causing the ultimate weakness in our communities foundation. And we should all know that a sound foundation makes for a sound house.
“We create a stereotype in our head and associate everyone of that type to that action. Its involuntary.” The problem in our society is that yes we stereotype everyone. But, only some have stereotypes that keep the majority of them from participating fully in our society. We subscribe stereotypes to Asians but they are stereotypes that help them, not hurt them in most cases. They are seen as hard workers and smart. When you can find just as many of them who are slacking losers as in any other community.
Thanks for the reply.
September 9, 2009 at 8:32 am
Hello,
I have noticed your blog while surfing on the Internet. I am a great supporter and admirer of the African Culture. I was just very impressed when I read some of your articles and decided to write you and tell you that your voice reached Romania(this is where I am from).It is great to find people that have the power to state things…so Congratulations on doing a good job.
I have one request if possible…could I add you to my blogroll?
It is a pleasure I had the honor to “meet” you through what you are writing.
Keep up the good job! If we start to say what we think…we will start changing the world…and we will make it a safer place to live in for our children.
Good day and respect,
Ruxandra
September 9, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Ruxandra,
Thanks so very much! I am humbled and flattered that someone in Romania would take an interest in my blog. And yes you sure can add me to your blogroll, that would be great.
Thanks for the reply.
October 8, 2009 at 2:11 pm
I came across the website by accident. Love the blog and expressed opinions about our feelings, emotions and outrage about the state in our community.